When I was little I LOVED to find out what was on the inside of everything. I would literally take apart batteries (without my mother’s knowledge of course – um, battery acid?!??!?), I disassembled the family VCR, I even dissected a dead snake at the age of 7 (at girl scout camp). All of this was in the name of wanting to know what was inside. Unfortunately, not much has changed in my “old” age. I still seem to be interested in what is hidden on the inside. My husband’s 1st class in medical school was anatomy. He would come home and tell me about something “cool” he had seen, like, say the woman who had undescended testes!!! And, on more than one occasion, I would demand that he take me to the anatomy lab so I could “see”. I realize that this paragraph might lead you to make certain assumptions or judgements about me and I have never even attempted to convince anyone that I am 100% normal. My theory is the only ones to worry about are those that claim they are normal. The rest of us are just self aware and as I like to say – self awareness is half the battle!
Lately, it seems my curiosity with the “insides” has decreased . This change may be attributed to receiving my type II diabetes diagnosis. I have talked about the list (you know, the “Foods I love and can not eat anymore” list) that takes shape when you are diagnosed and in those 1st few months seems to grow every time you have a craving (in the beginning it feels like EVERY craving gets added to the list). The list, in time, has to be accepted and just dealt with. It gets so long that it is like a wet, flannel blanket covering your emotional state of mind. As soon as you shuck it, you are in much better shape to face the beast and fight the good fight! Plus, eventually you learn how to “manipulate” the list so that it fits with your new lifestyle. However, this acceptance and manipulation seems to have triggered a whole new irritation…… makes me think of that law, you know the one, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is officially know as Newton’s Third Law of Motion (1st Ochham’s Razor <https://thediabeticdish.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/weigh-day-wake-up-and-a-wal-mart-surprise/>, now Newton…. I thought we were talking about type II diabetes??) Anyway, it appears that my acceptance and cheery outlook regarding the “list” gave way to a growing disenchantment with the insides.
The insides. It is beginning to feel like my diet is made up of the insides. The insides of the wrap at Roly Poly, the insides of the enchiladas/tacos/tacos al carbon/taco salad at Chuy’s, the insides of the sandwich at Subway, the insides of the hamburger at Five Guys Burgers, the insides of the stromboli at Double Dave’s, the insides of the chili cheese dog at Coney Island, the insides of the quiche at Home Cafe, the insides of the breakfast burrito at JC’s burritios, the insides of the philly cheesesteak at Texadelphia…… ENOUGH of the insides! Seriously, people. Manipulating my “list” basically required me to remove the outside in order get at least a distorted taste of some of my favorite foods and the result has been a growing annoyance with the “insides”! Hmph!!
Part of being on the “rookie” side of this disease is A LOT of going to extremes and trial and error. I have clearly mastered the going to extremes….. not eating the foods AT ALL, then eating them but removing the “outsides”. I am beginning to feel the extremism giving way to the trial and error phase. I am just beginning to stick my toes in the pool of “trying” because I am very fearful of the “error”. My 1st attempt was a hamburger made at home with a whole wheat bun (https://thediabeticdish.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/its-burger-time-baby/). The result: a very happy belly and an “on target” blood glucose reading. I know as try more there will be some errors, but it will be worth it to find a balance between the insides and the outsides!
What are your favorite insides? Have you found great ways to enjoy the outsides and still manage your blood glucose? Tell me about, I would love to hear!
The Dishing Diabetic